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Friday, October 31, 2014

Honestly

In the interest of being real and transparent here on the blog:

I’m weary.

At this point it feels as if my choices are 1. doing the work of 6 people while playing an endless and exhausting game of tug-of-war or 2. not caring.

Not caring is the winning option at the moment.

I can’t care for them. They’ll have to do the caring.

If you want to go somewhere in the truck, you’ll have to clean it first.

If you want to eat, you’ll have to clean the kitchen first.

If you want to play somewhere other than outside or in your room, you’ll have to clean the front room.

You will not ever step foot in my room, so I have one little tiny haven of loveliness.

All events and activities which require us to invite people to our house are cancelled.

Bedtime is at 8pm because I’m done parenting. I don’t care if it takes you 5 hours to fall asleep.

If you want electronics or activities (such as trick-or-treating…) other than church, CC, swimming, or AWANA, you have to be caught up on the week’s school work and have finished today’s work.

If you don’t want to do the Challenge assignments, you will sit in class each week without participating and you will re-take the class until you are capable of doing and willing to do the work at home without a fight, as many years as it takes. You will participate in lessons with your younger siblings until then.

If you don’t respect me enough to listen when I’m speaking, then don’t expect me to listen to you endlessly.

The end.

18 comments:

Monika said...

I think this is a fantastic and incredibly reasonable list. And yes, we all have spells of weariness. This too shall pass, but in the meantime, stick to your guns! I support you.

Ashley said...

Oh Heidi, I so totally feel you! I'm done, stick a fork in me, burnt out. Here is hoping this listlessness and not caring lets up sometime soon.

The Prudent Homemaker said...

Ah, yes! I know this feeling!

Hoping tomorrow is better!

Kate said...

Thanks for your vulnerability and honesty, Heidi. It's so reassuring to know that it's not always all sunshine and roses at other peoples houses too. I've only homeschooled three years, but each year it has felt like we get to the first six-week break and the excitement of the new year has worn off...and the reality that I need to keep on keeping on sets in. Hoping a little boot camp gets things back on the rails for you this week and that you're able to get some refreshment and rest.

Wendy said...

Oh, yes, this is where I'm at today! Thanks for giving me an anthem to sing :) Hope things get better soon!

Timi said...

It can't be easy to be a mother, a teacher, a wife and a house cleaner...
I send you a BIG hug!!! Take care and hang on!!! ♥♥♥

mamarachael said...

Yes, thank you for your honestly. It reminds me that I am normal, and its okay when I feel so similarly.

shelley said...

Your blog is awesome in a totally different way this morning. Thank you for this post.

Amy said...

Oh my goodness YES! I think I'm going to print this out and attempt to use it for my own family. Seriously. So tired, so love this. :)

carole said...

Using my phone while nursing a baby to sleep. Attempt #2 as #1 disappeared.

You are not alone. I hear ya! And we are taking 1 Brave Writer class, not doing CC!

My new thing is a book called Duct Tape Parenting, which I bought a few weeks back in desperation. I definitely recommend it if you want loving, respectful, quit your job as the maid & raise responsible kids advice. It's counterintuitive (the duct tape is for the parents!) and tough but seems to really resonate with me as I read through. One little duct tape victory at a time.

Hoping you can rest this weekend.

KO said...

Love it! As I read somewhere this week, the inmates have been running the asylum for too long. Yes, son, you have to study for your science test. And NO, this is not my fault. You procrastinated, not me! It is easier to be a care taker, but better for everyone when we love with a little more detachment. Great job.

Jill Foley said...

Amen and amen.

Alison Campbell said...

Hope your days get better Heidi! Totally understand where you're coming from. I don't know if I ever emailed you to tell you that my family and I travelled (in the summer) from our home in Guelph, Ontario, Canada, across 21 of your beautiful states and I have to say that your state was one of the most pleasant surprises. We loved it! Take in all it's loveliness (even if it's november and grey) and know that things always get better!

Rana said...

Love it!!! This is what my mom would call "Being on Strike". We (my father and my sister and I) were on our own for food, laundry, cleaning, getting whatever we needed. It helped us to appreciate her and respect her more. Sometimes I go on "strike" myself. Stick with it.

Skeller said...

amen. and amen. and AMEN. Repeat x4.

Jaime said...

I think we may be raising the same boy. I was contemplating schooling alternatives last week because I was SO at the end of myself. I'll be praying for you, sweetie. Thank you for your transparency - I expect you will hear from many who will tell you the same things you've been telling yourself, but they will sound better coming from another. This may not pass, but God is enough.

Sarah said...

Love it! I've been there. I'm there in one form or another almost every day, especially the "it's 9:30pm, and I'm done parenting."

Cindy said...


Yes- the weariness has hit us too. An idea- One Mom at CC said, she has implemented, a no lunch program. If morning work on the check- sheet is not done by lunchtime then that child does not eat till the next meal. She quotes the Apostle Paul.

I want to try it. : >)