Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Real Wednesday

I read Ali's blog today, and realized that it wasn't fair to the idea of the project if I left out details of my week. I also know that some of you are thankful when I add the not-so-fairy-tale details of my life, and you get to think of me as a real person. I also can't really share the details of my Thursday without explaining a little about the rest of Wednesday, so here it is in a nutshell:

10 something pm (Tuesday): Leif finally falls asleep. I'm in pain and worried, but I try to get some sleep as well.

12 something am: Luke wakes up crying and crying, saying his knee hurts. He comes to bed with me and cries more. I can't get him to stop. I give him some Ibuprofen and get Russ from his office. Luke finally settles down and we all try to get some sleep.

The rest of the night is blurry, but between Luke and Leif (and hurting and worrying), Russ and I were awake most of the night.

7 something am: Levi wakes up and I get up because I'm still hurting and worried, and staying in bed isn't very much fun.

8:30 am: I call the doctor three times waiting for them to start answering their phone so that I can make an appointment. Levi is on the couch watching a show. I'm in the corner of the school room crying. I finally get a hold of the doctor and make an appointment for 11:15. I call my mom, and she cancels her plans for the day.

9:45 am: Mom comes over to help out and hang out with me. Leif and Luke finally wake up. I think it must be nice to sleep in after being up all night.

10:45 am: I head out to my doctor's appointment.

11:45 am: I'm exhausted and trying to give the doctor a list of vague, random, ever-changing, seemingly unconnected symptoms from the past month (without crying). He is wishing I had hurt my ankle and he needed to tell me whether or not it was broken. He has no idea what is wrong, but gives me an order for a chest x-ray and takes a bunch of blood. I leave feeling like everything is in my head and I can make it go away by not stressing about it.

12:30 pm: I run a couple errands and head home.

1:00 pm: My angel mother goes to Costco to get me some groceries. I feel a little better and become a tornado around the house. Feed the kids. Pick up stuff....

4:00 pm: I'm feeling much better. See? It was all in my head! PMS or depression. That's it. We cheerfully head to piano lessons.

5:30 pm: My angel mother tells me that she and Shannon are stealing the boys so that I can get some sleep. I worry that I will be lonely and depressed and worried without them here, but I know I need some sleep. I make tacos for dinner and get stuff together for the boys' sleep-over.

7:00 pm: The boys are gone. I start cleaning up from dinner and my back muscles spasm. Terrific. Something new. I leave all the dinner dishes, take Ibuprofen, and cuddle up on the couch in Russ's office. He works while I watch recorded episodes of Dancing With the Stars.

10:00 pm: I'm in bed. Other than waking up a couple times and downing more Ibuprofen, I get a decent night's sleep!

It can only go up from here, right?!


carole said...

Yes, I am one of your "real life" fans.

Prayers for a full recovery from your recent illness - and for a restful night. Take it easy!

Ash said...

Oh Heidi - hugs from someone in Texas. I hope Thursday was a better day.


Heather said...

I hope everything is going ok and I hope it is only happy things form the doctor. And I looked through your pics from the other days an I have to say I love that one of your boys at target hanging out of the cart, to funny.
have a great day.

Anonymous said...

Thoughts and prayers headed your way! It's so great that your family is there to help out when these times arise. I hope you continue to get better!

Amy J.

Jenny said...

Hope you are feeling well again soon.
It is hard to deal with family when you are not 100% yourself.

Heidi said...

Thanks so much for the kind words, well wishes, and prayers. They are much appreciated!!

April said...

I can so totally relate to what you were going through here. I struggled deeply with depression and hypochondria and have just recently felt it lift. I googled every little ache and pain and was convinced everything was cancer. (I did lose my mom to cancer in 09 so that had a lot to do with it I'm sure.) It's clear now it was postpartum depression but at the time it just felt like my life was over. Here I was given beautiful days with my children and blessings abound but inside I felt like my life was over, the world had no color...